“Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not; for of such is the kingdom of God” (Mark 10:14).
Ever since the days that Saint Monica (c. 332-387) wept over her son Augustine’s sins, raising children in the Faith has been challenging. Virtuous parents sometimes raise children who depart from the Church and vice versa. Ultimately, it is a matter of grace.
However, the family of Saint John Neumann (1811-1860), the fourth Bishop of Philadelphia, offers some precious insights.
Pious Parents
Philip Neumann supported his family by running a stocking weaving business in Prachatitz, Bohemia (today Prachatice, Czech Republic). His status was that which the French refer to as petit bourgeois. His piety was evident to all around him, and he maintained a high moral tone in both home and shop. The entire village knew he would instantly fire any employee who used vulgar language at work. However, he was a fair employer known for helping the poor.
Herr Neumann abhorred flattery and deception. He warned his sons, “Beware of flatterers! The flatterer is a deceiver, a wily thief whose aim is to obtain something from you to your detriment. Never trust a flatterer!”
Agnes Neumann was a traditional German woman occupied with the “three K’s,” Kinder, Kuche und Kirche-children, kitchen and church. She attended Mass daily and always took one or another of her children. As an adult, Bishop Neumann recalled “that one of us who had been so fortunate as to be chosen to accompany her to Mass, to the rosary, or to the Way of the Cross generally received a penny or some other trifling reward.” Of course, these occasions when one child shared a few moments alone with their usually busy mother carried a joy that went beyond the proffered coin.
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Frau Neumann strove to instill in her children an active love for their neighbors. She taught them that virtue must spring from the heart. She often placed alms in their tiny hands to be distributed among those in need. She lost no opportunity to instruct them, and a few simple words from her lips inclined them to do good.
A Family Dedicated to the Church
One day, the three Neumann daughters complained about their own plain clothes, observing that other girls their age dressed according to current fashions. “If there is any good in you,” replied their mother, “ it needs no finery to show it off. If you think to make yourselves something by wearing fine clothes, you clearly show that you are nothing.” She also dismissed and discouraged gossip. If anyone tried to diminish a neighbor’s reputation, she replied to the indiscreet remarks. “Such talk can do no good,” she said. “We all have our faults, and yet God is so patient with us.”
These Catholic parents had six children. The oldest daughter, Catherine, married and had one child. However, her husband died young. Catherine, as her son related, “chose a life of seclusion devoted to God alone.” Veronica, the second child, married but died without offspring. John was their third child. Joanna, the fourth child, entered the Sisters of Charity of St. Charles Borromeo, taking the name Sr. Mary Caroline. The fifth child, Aloysia, cared for their father until his death and then joined her older sister in the convent of St. Charles Borromeo. Their youngest child was a son, Wenceslaus. He learned his father’s trade, but God called him to follow his brother John to America, where he became a Redemptorist lay brother.
Philip and Agnes’s only grandchild joined the Redemptorists, becoming Father John Berger. In 1882, Father Berger wrote the first book-length biography of his uncle, which includes a charming description of his grandparents.
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Inestimable Blessings
“To the new-born child was granted the inestimable blessing of good and pious parents. The fear of God reigned in their household, and the works of a genuine Christian life were zealously performed by all its members.”
In his autobiography, Saint John Neumann summarized his childhood. “Our education was conducted in accordance with the good old Catholic method, for our parents were thorough Christians.”
Of course, the real test of children’s virtues comes when childhood ends.
Agonizing Discernment
Fortunately, John Neumann kept a spiritual diary from his seminary days in Prague from 1834 until 1840. In Prague, John had lots of time to examine his life and vocation. He recorded, “There is a terrible void in my soul. I am completely discouraged, and I cannot pray. To whom should I turn for help?” A few days later, he wrote, “What sort of priest would I be with all the sins I have, with all my bad habits, my inflexibility and stubbornness, with my host of spiritual and bodily frailties…? If I begin to pray, my conscience becomes still more restless; if I stop praying, I clearly see the abyss to which I am hurrying. Lord, mercy! Or else!
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Eventually, this “dark night of the soul” passed. “I stand before You, my Savior; You have not spurned my sincere offer to become Your obedient disciple. I no longer look for comfort from either heaven or earth. You, divine master, can judge whether such are necessary for me. I propose to worry no more over the aridity You send me. You, my God, are the font of both aridity and grace. I am grateful to you for letting me learn this.”
Of course, John Neumann’s ordination filled the young priest with exultation.
Poverty of Spirit and Heroic Humility
“Oh Jesus,” he wrote on the day of his first Holy Mass, “You poured out the fullness of your grace over me yesterday. You made me a priest and gave me the power to offer You up to God. Ah! God! This is too much for my soul! Angel of God, all you saints of heaven, come down and adore my Jesus, because what my heart says is only the imperfect echo of what Holy Church tells me to say. I will pray to You that You may give to me holiness, and to all the living and the dead, pardon, that some day we may all be together with You, our dearest God!”
There is one last character trait to note: a total poverty of spirit. He did not care about his comfort, convenience or the opinions of others about him. That has many positive effects. One of those is the total lack of that motivation the Church calls careerism.
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Saint John Neumann’s priestly life followed a recognizable pattern that repeated itself several times. A superior would ask that he take on higher office with greater responsibility. Father Neumann would resist, claiming his character was insufficient for the new responsibilities. The superior would then insist that he take on the new role. Then, Father Neumann would succeed beyond his superior’s expectations.
However, success never overcame the heroic humility that remained a prominent aspect of Saint John Neumann’s life and ministry. Thus, his early life prepared the way for the successes and trials awaiting him.